“But that was last month, and now she’s texting me asking for closure.” – Lil Wayne, HYFR
I like my movies as big presents tied up tightly with a bow. I like it when all of the intricate subplots and developing relationships are addressed in the end of the film and they come to a conclusion. I guess it’s safe to say that I like closure.
Closure can be a really good thing. In relationships (romantic or otherwise) it sometimes helps to have a conversation discussing where you may have went wrong so you’re both on the same page and can feel that a chapter of your life is complete as the relationship ends. Life happens and going your separate ways sucks so having clarity on why things happened the way they did aids your healing and learning process going forward.
However, you don’t always get closure. Sometimes the other person isn’t willing to communicate with you or the opportunity is long gone. The person may be toxic, and communicating with them again just isn’t worth the aggravation. As much as closure can put your mind at ease, sometimes seeking it can be harmful. Rehashing the past depending on the person can be much more painful than coming to terms with your account of the story on your own.
High school, for example, is full of pending closure. If you’re on the social side, chances are you have a number of people you used to date and former friends you fell out with roaming around. At one point, you felt physically uncomfortable walking past them in the halls remembering how things used to be. Now, you can almost walk past them without even recalling that you used to know them. You’ve moved on but there’s still a bit of tension there. The thing with high school though, is that you’re all going to be there for a while. If you do at one point want to make things right with these people, these skeletons from your past, then you can rest assured that they’re pretty much guaranteed to be there when you’re ready. If you ever feel that you want to address the way your relationship ended, you basically have infinite opportunities to.
It’s really up to you to decide whether or not you’re seeking answers or something more to help you move on. If it’s plausible, amicable and mutual partings are much more healthy mentally. If not, you always have the power to get past it and bring the movie to an end on your own. Roll credits.
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